Before I read the Poem I’d just like to say a few words about my memories of the precious time I had with my beloved Sandra.

She has given me the best 33 years of my life and I don’t know what I’ll do without her. She was my rock to get me through all the difficult and awkward times I encountered. She was very like me in so many ways. We were both fairly shy people and enjoyed quiet times, but when she was beside me we could walk into any room and feel confident. Of course, that was unless there was a large dog there or possibly any size dog, when I would be hiding right behind her. In these last few years I just hope she thought I paid this back by always being beside her when she needed me. I know she got a lot from it and hope it helped her at the end.

I met my kind, caring, clever, helpful, funny and oh so classy lady in 1986 on, believe it or not Dateline. A computer dating site (but then what else for me when I’ve spent nearly all my life in IT). But back then you had to use the Royal Mail and wait on tenter hooks for the postman. We had a couple of phone calls then met outside Barnsley Town Hall. She was beautiful, in fact was once a beauty queen winner before I met her but she has always been my beauty queen. As soon as I saw her and we had been chatting that night I knew she was the only one for me. Surprisingly to me, I’ve just found out that she also made that decision on the night and therefore we’ve been together ever since. We’ve had so many similar likes and dislikes we could almost guess what each other was thinking, which I’m sure has helped in these difficult last few months. We fitted together so right.

We always liked doing the same sort of things whether it was walking and wildlife, entertainment and music or holidaying and relaxation. Luckily we both had a wide variation of music styles and she even liked my reggae until a couple of years ago when a particular UB40 track called Rat in Mi kitchen got under her skin – I can’t possibly think why! As well as the clubs, pubs and dancing we enjoyed together we also had a period at ballroom dancing for a couple of years at which she excelled and I just made the numbers up. We enjoyed much the same sort of TV programmes although she did like UFO’s and other supernatural. Whilst I was half interested in that, I left her to it when it came to conspiracy theories but I can now see where both Andrew and Lee might get it from.

Sandra’s always been such a healthy eater, kept herself fit and followed all the good advice in the papers on diet, low alcohol, no tobacco and exercised to watch her weight that it all seems the more unfair she was diagnosed with this horrible disease. Speaking of exercise, she really enjoyed going to both the Upton Keep-Fit club and later the over 60’s club where she met a lot of really good friends, had a cuppa and a natter and I always enjoyed seeing her get ready and going on the birthday or Xmas dos where I often acted as taxi man. That is a lasting memory of Sandra and something I loved about her. She loved her clothes and wouldn’t go out unless she was more than presentable. In fact Andrea had quite a shock when we were re-arranging her wardrobes on the large quantity, young at heart styling and with some not even worn. She even did the garden with me at Ulley in decent clothes when I was wearing all my old things. Gardening, as anyone will know whose seen her garden was a real passion for both of us and Sandra had a real skill at designing and like fashion, putting colours and plants together to produce a pleasing picture whereas I would usually just follow her lead. But we did both enjoy Sundays at Garden Centres or visiting Open Gardens.

The one thing I have still got, besides my memories, is a huge amount of photographs particularly highlighting our trips away. In fact only a couple of months after I met her I took her away to Stratford upon Avon for her birthday where we went to see a play. Although we both loved the theatre, going often, I think we decided there that Shakespeare was not really for us. Sandra loved the musicals and she took me to London last year to see The Lion King, much more our style. Our numerous holidays are well documented and like me Sandra really took to caravanning when we bought our first van in 2001. We’ve spent lots of time away since then which she always loved and I’m so glad that last year, whilst she was still able, we went away 7 times. In fact, in creating a photo slide show to play in the background at the reception, I was surprised at how many well known places and countries she is pictured at.

We had a special holiday in 2004 when we visited New Zealand, calling off in Singapore, Australia, Fiji, Los Angeles and the South Seas island of Raratonga, a destination definitely not to be missed. But apart from that we regularly took the caravan to France and she thoroughly enjoyed the different food and lifestyle not to mention the shopping where she always came back with more clothes and shoes than she took. In 2013 however, we visited the place which would ultimately become her favourite - Lake Garda. It was ideal in her eyes being naturally picturesque yet with plenty of shopping and the opportunity to see opera at Verona, take a gondola ride in Venice and visit the massive Dolomite mountains.

She was the most loving mother I have ever known and thought the world of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. She would always do everything she could for them and I’m sure Amy, Jake, Emily, Josh, Caitlin, Bremner and Mariella could all right now think of something she has done to make their lives extra special. If she’d had more time I’m sure Leo, Logan and Oscar would be saying just the same. Her time with Andrew, Andrea and Lee was mostly before I met her, but I know from what’s been said that despite some hard times she always put them first, bending over backwards to give them the best. In fact she just loved children and being with them. She had a particularly enjoyable period of about 3 years when she was employed by Ashgrove Junior school working with the children there and it was a sad day when that time had to finish.

I must say thank you for the great help we’ve received over this very difficult last 6 months. Neither Sandra or myself would have been able to keep going if her children Lee, Andrew and Andrea hadn’t been able to help me give their mum the best possible quality of life under the circumstances. But I have to particularly thank Andrea whose been an absolute tower of strength, not just with doing all the jobs and covering to give me some respite time but also providing me with emotional strength when I was right down. Also thanks to Lee her husband for unselfishly giving her up to do this. I must also thank the Carers from Lotus, who without their help we would never have managed. Two in particular were exceptionally helpful and kind, being knowledgeable, skillful, caring and always a friend to Sandra. Her eyes lit up whenever Elleisha or Alison came through the door and they had a laugh and a joke as they patiently helped her to dress and coaxed her to eat or drink.

During notifying friends and relatives we unfortunately found that her best friend since early adulthood, Val who lived at Upton, had passed away last Xmas day. Although Val had suffered with agrophobia for many years it didn’t stop Sandra regularly popping round and in between, the two of them having mammoth telephone calls. They probably kept BT in business. I am very glad now that I took Sandra round not long before Xmas with presents and even though she couldn’t talk very well then, I think Sandra enjoyed seeing Val who was then quite poorly. When Andrea replied to Val’s son with condolences it seemed a really nice picture for both him and me in her words, which finished off that she could see the two of them now catching up on lost time and nattering away together.

I am so sorry to be saying goodbye to her but so grateful to her for all the love she’s given me for so long. Thank you Sandra.